The conversation around race starts within the home - but how do you teach your kids to be kind in a prejudiced world? We speak to Uju Asika to find out how.
By Uju Asika
You can protest racism in the streets, you can write letters to your MPs and campaign for equality in the workplace, but what happens behind the closed doors of your home? We sat down with the author, blogger and mother to two boys Uju Asika to talk about why combatting racism should start within the home, she shared her tips on how to talk about race with kids.
1. Slow and steady
When talking to kids about anything that’s not cartoons, rainbows or butterflies, it is so important to broach the subject slow and steady. Now, we shouldn’t assume kids don’t understand anything, because actually they are in many ways more perceptive than we are. It’s a conversation that can happen earlier than you think - babies even begin to notice ethnic differences so it’s something that can be talked about super early on.
The way to do it is to drip feed the information - have small chats here and there (perhaps sparked by any observations they make if you’re out and about, or if they come to you with questions). The important thing to remember is not to freak out or let awkwardness deter you from having the conversations - kids don’t tend to mince their words or beat around the bush (we have to admire their honesty!) so don’t be shocked if they come out with some abrupt questions on race.
2. Holistic approach
Discussing race with kids, helping them to grow up more informed and kind, needs to happen on several levels, and cannot just be the sole responsibility of the parents. School teachers, principals and school staff are an integral part of the equation - schools are often the first place where kids encounter racism, as they are immersed in an environment where there are people of all different races, creeds and colours. Education needs to come from every angle, from everyone who is looking after children throughout the day.
It is true that education starts at home - the home is where we develop our values and first cultivate our perception of the wider world. However, we need to ensure that our kids are being guided on a kind and loving trajectory towards a better tomorrow when they are away from the nest. So, where you can, check in with school boards and teachers, and see how you can work together to ensure kids are learning about these things.
3. Age-appropriate resources that educate about racism
There are lots of resources that parents can use to introduce education on race, inequality and other heavy but important issues but in a way that is engaging and accessible for children. Lots of toymakers are celebrating diversity through their products (Barbie dolls, for example, now represent all races and body types). Other than physical toys though, here are a few excellent resources that Uju recommended:
Sesame Workshop
Sesame Workshop is a nonprofit organisation that helps children grow up to be smart, strong and most importantly kind human beings. Through fun, interactive resources, they cover serious topics such as gender equality, financial empowerment and race.
The Concious Kid
The Conscious Kid is an organisation that deals in education, research and policy promoting equity and positive racial identity development in children. Their blog lists lots of amazing books and toys, including book subscriptions.
Bringing Up Race
Uju’s first book is for all families of all races and ethnicities to read. She wants to inspire parents and anyone with kids around them to instil an open-minded inclusivity in their kids, helping to spark conversations around race and equality in people’s homes and encourage families not to shy away from difficult questions. Her book is full of personal stories, expert opinions and also advice from fellow parents to bring together a holistic approach to raising a kind, anti-racist family.
uju Asika
Uju is the multiple award-nominated blogger of babesabouttown.com, a digital consultant at mothersandshakers.net, a writer and author based in London. Her book Bringing Up Race is available from September 3rd 2020.
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